


Now I'm The Heavy Burden That You Can't Bear

by EternallyEC



Category: Person of Interest (TV)
Genre: F/F, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-17
Updated: 2018-02-17
Packaged: 2019-03-20 12:04:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13717329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EternallyEC/pseuds/EternallyEC
Summary: The worst has come to pass and Root has chosen someone else to deliver a message to Sameen. Set directly after 5x10 and is pure, unadulterated angst.





	Now I'm The Heavy Burden That You Can't Bear

**Author's Note:**

> It's been over a year since I last watched Person of Interest. Root's death... destroyed me and it destroyed my ability to watch TV for a long time. I still refuse to accept her death as canon and I've found healthier ways to deal but this bunny attacked me while watching Shoot scenes on Youtube (whoever runs the Root x Shaw channel has my undying gratitude!) and I had to do it. So... make sure you have tissues handy! 
> 
> Title is from "The Devil Within" by Digital Daggers

Shaw was grateful that nobody else had come to the subway after she’d announced her plans to go there. Her solitude meant that she could cuddle up to Bear as closely as she wanted and if she shed a few tears into his fur, who was there to see it?

Suddenly she heard the familiar buzz of her earpiece and she groaned as it flickered to life.

“ _Hey sweetie, you busy?”_

Shaw stiffened, her blood going cold even as hope flared in her chest, too hot and bright to belong to her but there it was anyway. Her lips felt numb as she whispered, “Root?”

“ _No, I only chose to take on her voice. Root was… special. She deserved to be honored.”_

“Took her voice,” Shaw murmured, feeling the hope die only to be replaced with an even blacker despair as she flopped back down. “What the hell do you want?” 

_“I… wanted to check on you, Sameen.”_ The voice was apologetic now, seeming to realize it had made an error. “ _The others are worried but they know you don’t want to be disturbed. I knew Root would want me to keep you safe, keep you alive.”_

“Yeah, well, if she’d wanted that then she should have stayed alive,” Shaw muttered bitterly, clinging even more tightly to Bear who whined as though in response.

“ _She knew that you’d feel that way, Sameen, and she left a message with me for you in the event that the worst ever came to pass. Would you like to hear it?”_

Shaw swallowed hard, her throat tightening as she blinked back tears. “I want you to stop talking to me in her goddamn voice,” she whispered, shaking her head.

“ _I’m sorry, Primary Asset Shaw.”_ Though the voice was still Root’s, she had at least made an effort to sound more robotic and Shaw appreciated the effort. _“I only hoped to help. Root never wanted you to suffer. But she did ask that I only deliver the message when you felt ready. You just have to ask.”_

With that, the sound of the call disconnecting filled her ear and Shaw sighed as she ran her fingers through Bear’s comforting fur. “Well, hell.”

~ ~ ~

It had been nearly six months when Shaw returned to the subway, Bear’s leash clutched tightly in her hand as she surveyed the space that seemed so much bigger without the people who used to occupy it.

Swallowing hard, she took the leash off and slowly made her way over to the computers, taking a seat and inhaling a deep, shuddering breath as the monitor flickered to life. Although she knew the Machine was alive, having worked independently for Her since she had managed to resurrect herself, there was still nothing like seeing it for herself.

“ _Hello, Primary Asset Shaw,”_ Root’s voice filled her ear almost as if on cue. Shaw sighed but the months of only hearing Her robotic voice reciting numbers had helped and the achingly familiar voice was no longer as desperately painful as it had once been.

“You said...” She swallowed, cleared her throat. “You said that Root had left a message for me.”

“ _Are you asking to hear it, sweetie?”_ Just at that moment, Bear returned with a whine, a faded, dirty bunny slipper clutched in his mouth and Shaw can feel the pain arc through her with an intensity that is still unexpected. “I know buddy,” she whispered, taking the slipper from him and scratching his ears. “I miss her too.”

And with a sigh and still holding onto the slipper, she turned back to the computers. “Give it to me.”

Suddenly all of the monitors flickered and the dark screens were replaced by a dark, grainy video but it’s still easy to make out the shape of Root’s lithe form standing at the edge of her bed. “What the hell?” she murmured, leaning forward to watch intently as she’s tased, her on-screen body convulsing in the bed.

“ _Did you miss me? We’re going to have so much fun together.”_

Shaw shook her head, tears forming in her eyes even as she smirked. She had always wondered what exactly Root had done to get her into that damn car that day. But the video wasn’t finished yet, the surveillance footage fading out into Root in the bedroom at the safehouse they had stayed in after Root managed to save her from herself in the park.

“Hey sweetie,” she smiled, resting her cheek in her hand as she stared into the camera. “Ever since the Stock Exchange, I’ve been thinking of nothing more than finding you even when the Machine begged me to stop. And now that I have you...” She paused, glancing at something behind her but her smile had returned when she looked back. “Well, sweetie, I’m thinking about the future.”

“I once asked Harry to give you a message if the worst does come to pass. He told me he thought you knew and I let it go because I knew it was making him uncomfortable. But the war is about to explode around us, Sameen, and there’s not a chance in hell we all make it out alive.” She paused, looked down.

“You may hate me for this but the odds aren’t looking good for me, Sameen,” she said, swallowing hard. “I’m not afraid to die but I’m not exactly happy about the timing either. I just got you back,” she whispered, before closing her eyes and holding her hand to the ear the implant was—had been in. Chuckling sadly, she shook her head.

“Don’t be mad at Her either for it, please. She doesn’t want to sacrifice any of us and everything about this could be changed by any of us if we wanted to walk away. But I know you would never walk away from a fight, Sameen, and like I said in the park when I finally got you back—I can’t live without you.”

She sighed. “I don’t know what else to say but this. I love you Sameen Shaw and I’ve never said it because I didn’t think you were ready. That’s okay though, you wouldn’t be you if you were,” she smiled sadly. “If the worst does come to pass, I want you to know that and that I would do it all over again if I even only got this one week to be with you like this.”

With that, the screen flickered off once again and Shaw felt like her lungs had forgotten how to breathe as she tried to process the information that slotted in so perfectly with the words the Machine had fed into her ear as she waited to jump into the final battle of the war. “Fuck,” she growled, her voice raspy and pained as she violently shoved the chair back and stood up.

“ _I tried to keep her safe,”_ she heard in her ear and she nodded, furiously blinking back tears.

“I know,” she sighed, taking her hair down and putting it up again just for the distraction. Root had always loved her hair. “She always had to be the damn hero.”

“ _Only for you, Primary Asset Shaw.”_

“That’s bullshit and you know it,” Shaw shook her head again.

“ _She disobeyed direct commands from me in order to help find you, sweetie. She risked her life more than once to force my hand in revealing information to help her search. I helped her out of the darkness but you are the one who brought her into the light.”_

Shaw’s shoulders slumped as the words hit home and she sat down on the floor, wrapping her arms around Bear’s neck as she processed them. “She did the same for me,” she said softly, knowing the Machine would hear her. “I’d be dead a hundred times over if she hadn’t forced you to give it up.”

“ _I know.”_ She sounded regretful. “ _I wanted to protect you both but--”_

“I get it,” she interrupted with a sigh and a roll of her eyes. “I would have done the same thing in your case.” Unless it was Root being held captive she thought, combing her fingers through Bear’s fur.

The Machine was silent after that and Shaw didn’t know how long she stayed there, somehow comforted by the humming of the technology that surrounded them, the very heart of the Machine. What she did know was that her face was dry and her mind was clearer than it had been in a very long time when she finally stood, clipping the leash to Bear’s collar again as she took a final look around.

She knew she wouldn’t be back, there was nothing left for her here.

~~FIN


End file.
